Sunday, February 6, 2011

Lollipop, lollipop, oh-lolli-lollipop, LOLLIPOP!

Today I discovered what was possibly the grossest thing on the face of the planet. Of the planet!

This enticing piece of sugary HELL:
It's a lollipop. A real sucker. WITH A REAL BUG IN IT. BUGS, ladies and gents! In this lovely picture, the unfortunate insect is a cricket. You are suppose to lick, suck, bite away ... and once you get to the super awesome center, you EAT THE BUG. Ah, the crunchy munching of cricket legs after a satisfying my sweet tooth ... could anything be any more perfect than this?? 
Why yes, actually it could! Behold, the following:

A SCORPION lollipop. Oh dear heavens, I must find a way to restrain myself from purchasing a lifetime's amount of these little goodies before PETA finds out the maker's evil ways and goes ape crap to shut them down!!

I'm ordering mine ASAP. Like, yesterday. 
Oh wait ... I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bite. Oh well, perhaps the bile will mesh well with the said peanut-buttery taste of the scorpion! Life just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.



2 comments:

  1. EW.

    Ew.

    Ew.

    eW.


    EW.


    ew.


    EW!!!!!



    That's all I have to say about this.

    Love,
    kae

    P.S. How gross would it be if the bugs were frozen, and when you licked them enough they like fluttered back to life?? That's what I would be thinking if (that's a BIG if) I ever licked a lollipop like that. I'd be like "OH GOD I HAVE TO STOP NOW JUST IN CASE IT STILL LIVES! IT'D COME AFTER ME!!" That's why I always flush bugs... I mean, the little bastards are tenacious! It's the only way you REALLY know they're dead and not just putting one over on you.

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  2. EXACTLY.

    I saw a documentary where this one company dipped live insects in chocolate and let them drown.

    THEY WERE LATER SOLD FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.
    Like, real humans with their own minds and crap.

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